INTIMACY
Since I received such encouragement on my "change of direction" blog. And since my best friend/husband is in Maryland... I am going to try again.
Intimate - to make known especially publicly or formally. (Webster's)
Intimacy is something I have been thinking about alot. To be known. We all want to be known. We all are known. We just don't always believe that.
I took my children to see The Nutcracker. We have been to the ballet before. My daughter especially loves ballet and took ballet lessons for years. This year was different, though. We actually knew one of the children in the show. He is a friend of my 10 year old, Benjamin. It changed everything to watch the performance knowing Matthew. We were eager to see him on stage. We cheered for him. We wanted him to succeed. No longer were the cute little children just cute little children. It was Matthew and his friends.
We have a small fellowship of believers that meet in our home every week. We know each other. We know when something is wrong. We are pulling for each other. No longer are these people faces in a pew or in a church directory. We know their stories. We hurt when they hurt. Knowing someone changes everything.
I can easily cut someone off in traffic and pull in front of them if they are going too slow, but if I look in the car and see my friend Carla! That changes everything. I know her. How can I cut her off!
A few weeks ago we went to an outdoor Christmas celebration. It was such fun for the kids! Bounce houses, pony rides, concerts, and a dog show. Steve and I separated to do different things with the kids. He took the baby and Christopher to see the dog show, while I took the othters to do various activities. After we met up, Steve started telling me about this out- of- control, 5 0r 6 year old child that ran onto the field. His mom could not get him to obey. She had to go in and get him. The dog show was disrupted. It sounded like a fiasco!!! I was appalled thinking what I would do if Joshua did something like that! He wouldn't dare!!!!! "Bad parenting", I thought to myself. But only for a split second before Steve said, "I think it was someone our neighbor knows" My heart immediately sunk as I thought of my walks with my neighbor every day for the past few months and her prayer requests for her friend who has an autistic child. The child looks normal in every way, but does not comprehend or behave like a normal child. He has many issues unrelated to his parent's discipline. Immediately my attitude changed toward the entire situation because I KNEW this story. This was the mother and child that I have been praying about for months! I know them! Wow. What a difference knowing makes.
I am not sure where to go with this... but I do take great comfort in knowing that He knows me. Better than I even know me. Somehow that comforts me. Because I know He made me. I was His idea. He takes full responsibility for me. Even the things I don't like about me. He knows those things. He made me this way. Sometimes I wonder WHY!!!!! Yet, he seems to like me.
I know my children. I saw their heart beats within days of their beginning. I want the best for them. Although sometimes they think I am being mean :) I really really want them to succeed. I really adore them. I see a reflection of me in their mannerisms. They make me smile.
Somehow, I think it would be easier for us to rest in His love if we really believed that He knows us - and not only that.... we were His idea. Wow. That is sobering.
posted by Jill at 4:00 PM
2 Comments:
Well, speaking for myself anyway, he gets some pretty strange ideas. I am beginning to rest in being known. I am beginning to let myself live in that. The funny thing is that when you give yourself the freedom to do that, you don't want to sin as much. I was continually either feeding myself to death, or starving myself to death at different points in my life when I wasn't resting in that love. The more I step into that love, the less I want to do destructive things to myself. Sobering is the word.
This post prompted a lot of thoughts.
It's interesting how our natures are different from God's, and/or is it the invisible but extremely powerful influence on our concept of parenting, children and God upon us from our culture?
I thought particularly about the comment of wanting children to succeed, and this seems to be such a strong natural desire.
Heck, this is even "scriptural" when Jesus says "you then, though you're evil, know how to give good gifts to your children".
But I'm thinking beyond that. i.e. to how far that has been taken by people, to phrases such as "God is all about family" (referring to blood family), when Jesus says "who is my mother and brothers" and "he who loves father or mother or son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of me".
(I have friends in Asia today who tell me of Followers being turned in by family members to the government, who are subsequently subject to beatings and decimation: financial, social, cultural.)
And then I think of how many in this society parlay the "best" thinking that we have for our children into our relationship with God, a la "God wants to bless you", "God has a WONDERFUL plan for your life", "we should give our best to God", "God is pleased with our best", etc.
I know it's natural to have these thoughts as a parent, as a parent. Yet neither is God the opposite, a finger-pointing meany who operates via shame and guilt (as I hear some people commonly express).
Rather, I just see a lot of pulpits and websites who put the cart before the horse. i.e., we can call on God for the first time ever in our lives and He wants nothing but to bless us and help us succeed from that moment forward. (because He loves people, because God is love, blah blah blah...)
There's a lot of stuff out there about entitlement to blessings or success or riches as God's children which today's pulpits teach, expect and demand (Hebrews 12:5-11, Romans 5:3-5, Prov 3:11-12, etc).
I read Jesus saying that falling on Him and being broken to pieces is good, for it's either be broken or get crushed (Matthew 21:44).
That then leads me to think "My power is made perfect in your weakness" (2 Cor 12). Then I think about death preceding rebirth, dying preceding life, and how even as we love our kids that God no less bids them to brokenness or death and rebirth.
That God tested Abraham's faith on his willingness to literally put his own son to death with a knife. That God's son was butchered to hamburger meat (Isaiah 52).
This is a long chain of thoughts, but it consummates with thinking about the distinctions between parenthood in our hearts and as taught in this society versus how God parents.
Our desires are natural, and so strong, yet in some ways so different from aspects of God's parenting.
Your post prompts a lot of thoughts, which to me is a great post.
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